Not my usual sunshine self - a sad one

 Feeling moody today.

Kinda snapped at John, and made him feel bad. :(
Bad Paulette.
John is awesome. Didn't deserve it.
My sugars are out of whack. I don't think my new diabetes med is working well for me.
That probably contributes to me feeling icky.
Gonna contact my doctor on Monday.  

I just realized I haven't posted here in a bit.

Weight is up.  

185 lbs.

I feel fat and useless.  
I know I'm not, but it's how I feel.

I have been doing a walk, almost daily.  

Hard to do, when the weather is bad.  Which seems to be every other week now.  

Not many sidewalks here in rural-ville.  But the roads don't get a lot of use, so I walk on those.  The roads are in need of work, which most of the prospective city council members mentioned as a point in their profiles before the election.  

My feet are slowly losing feeling, from the toes.  

I wanna cry.  No use to it, though.  

My own life choices brought it about.  

New med leaves tender spots where the auto-injector goes in. Still sore from last week's injection, and new spot sore from this week's dose.  

Sitting here, doing nothing, my heart rate is 105 bpm.

:'(
If we have a measured number of beats, I'm running through mine almost twice as fast as most people.

That's why I'm doing the walking.  Doctor thinks my heart is "deconditioned", and needs exercise to 'condition' it.  

It might work.  Dunno.  I just take the walks.  When the weather gets better, I'll be able to take longer ones.  I just don't like walking in my boots.  And walking on the treadmill is boring.  I was doing some strength stuff.  Then my elbow started aching.  So I stopped that for a bit.  I  might start again.  Again, I don't know. 

I feel like I'm flailing in a pool, looking for the edge to hold on, and I'm too far in the deep end to get to it.  At least I didn't inhale any of the water.  

Just tired. 

Ouch

 Well, if you follow my facebook, which is basically the only place that has my links...

anyway.  If you follow it, you know that my back went nope on the 26th.  

Yesterday was, um, painful.  

Today I'm gonna call it 87%.  I can tell I'm still fragile, but the pain is at about 1-2.  So, my normal, now.  

SOOOOOO, to keep it that way, I'm starting my PT exercises again.  Starting slow, with the stuff my PT doctor initially gave me.  I'll do those for about 2 weeks, then progress to set 2, then 3.  I think it's 3 sets that I have.  Whatever.  When I get to the final set, I'll actually keep doing them.  No reason not to, since they're good.  I will have to modify the arm pull ones, since doing THOSE aggravates my elbows.  
*headdesk

I'm doing my best to be the best I can be.  

I hope you all can do the same!  
HUGS from the chaos creature!

Floaty head

Doily is done.

Sometimes I amaze myself. I don't know how I made the doily. I know I did. I don't know how I make many things, after I've done it. My eyes read the words, and my hands do it. My brain doesn't really keep the information. Fairly certain I have some form of damage. With the number of times I've hit my head, it wouldn't surprise me. Right now my head is floaty. I ate, and took my glucose and blood pressure readings. Mostly normal.  

Not sure what else to do, except maybe nap.  I want to go home.  Sleep in my own bed.  Wrap up in my fleece blanket with the wolves or deer.  

Neuropathy

 Not thrilled with it.  But the thing I dislike the most, is that things that I feel, hurt WAY out of proportion to the amount of injury. 

Rubbed my toe against something rough.  Felt like I shredded my foot.  Looked at my toe, not even a red mark.  I guess it's better than the flip, though.  

For the record, my toes feel like they got cold, and haven't warmed up enough to feel yet.  They also feel like they don't fit together right.  It's weird.  Left side is a bit worse than the right.  Might be connected to how when my back pain shoots down my leg, it's my left one.  Dunno. 

Anyway.  Off to work.  Start at 10 today, and it's 9:24.

October doctor visit

 Wednesday I went to the doc for my 3 month A1c check and such.

Doctor changed my lisinopril to losartan.  Hopefully the cough, not being 'supported' by the ACE inhibitor will go away, now.  
A1c was still 7.6.  No change from last checkup, but I think a month of that was only being controlled by metformin, since I think my victoza got warm and stopped working correctly.  

I'm gonna do more walking.  NEED to do more walking.  I reinstalled Pokemon Go on my phone, and I like walking with my floaty worm fish thing.  (She's much prettier than that sounds)

Hoping to get back to the gym, now that I found my gym fob again.  That made it harder to just drop in, LOL.

Not gonna do treadmill much.  My ankle gets crunchy when I do too much of that.  But I like walking for miles.  Just have to find a good way to do it.  

I'm down from 83.5kg to 83kg.  "officially"
I weighed myself today, and I'm at 180.2.  

Also, cheez-its have no right to be so delicious.

That's what I've got for my readers for today.

Have a glorious day!

I Walked!

 Yay!

Another walk.  I was in Jordan for the weekend, and decided to take a long walk.  Well, longish.  2+ miles, for this one.  I was playing Pokemon Go and got a bunch accomplished with that.  I did manage to drain my battery completely.  I'll post my walk map after I reconnect my phone to my watch.  

Here we go again!

 So, my back's been acting up again.

Started up my PT.  Hoping it works as well as it did the first time.  I haven't added any damage, so I don't see why it wouldn't.  

I'm on about day 4 or 5.  

I'm down to about 180lbs.  Realized that the previous weights had been wrong.  Had the scale on carpet.  Very low nap, so the discrepancy wasn't much.  Just enough to give me really nice numbers.  LOL

I now put the scale on a piece of chip board (?), which gives me numbers that make more sense when compared to what the clinic was getting.  Not great, but I'm making headway.  

Also got a small weight routine.  My ankle has been acting crunchy lately, so until the tendon goes back in place, I'm not doing the treadmill.  

I think I've been doing ok with my meds for all of everything. 
5 pills in the morning, and 3 in the evening.
2 metformin, a multivitamin, vitamin D3, and aspirin in the morning. 
2 MORE metformin in the evening, a vitamin C, and lisinopril (FUCK lisinopril - stupid COUGH).
I take those with breakfast and dinner.
I also take my thyroid med and victoza in the morning when I wake up.  
I have a cholesterol med that I take when I go to bed.  
So much meds.  I do cheat a bit.  I see nothing wrong with marking my bottles, so my evening meds are marked with (N) and my morning meds are marked with (M).
I was going to mark my evening meds with (E), but discovered that my (E) looks a lot like my (M).  heheh
When I get a new bottle, I swap lids.  I'm also lazy.  I didn't see any reason to mark more lids than needed.  :D

Here's my most recent numbers.

From the 2nd.  

Keep on swimming.